thetalkofshame:

Writer/Comic Cory Cavin shares a tale that highlights the horrible consequences one suffers when the gulf between one’s snowboarding ambition and one’s snowboarding skill is wider than one initially realizes.  Plus, another edition of a British Person Reads Your Embarrassing Stories which you can either upload at TalkOfShameShow.com/submit or email to me at TheTalkOfShameShow@gmail.com

And here’s a bunch of fun ways you can keep up with the podcast.

The opening number from my first Broadway musical, “Big Man, Big City.” In this scene the main character has just stepped off a bus in NYC and is seeing it for the very first time.

1997
"Could I get all the graphic designers in the conference room, please? First of all, welcome to a little company we’re calling GoDaddy.com. What we do here is sell people domain names over the world wide web. What’s that? Why didn’t we choose a name like ‘DomainName.com’ or ‘Domain.com’ or ‘Website.com’ or ‘any other name because it’s 1997 and all of them are available?’ Good question. Well number one, you’re fired. And number two, because none of those names convey what we’re all about here: cool-i-tude. That’s a new word I just made up - actually, Trish, can you register ‘coolitude.com’ for me? Thanks. Now, on to something more important. Let’s talk about a logo. We want something that represents cool-i-tude. Maybe a guy? Think coffeehouses, which, this being 1997, are very popular at the moment. But the people there don’t serve coffee. They serve Java. That’s what they call it because they’re cool. Think of a guy who would know the Spin Doctors. Personally. What’s that? Does he wear sunglasses? Uhh no. He wears shades, daddy-o. Maybe he’s hot, too. Hot from all the cool ideas in his head. What kind of style should we draw him in? Hmmm, good question. Maybe ‘Shitty Keith Haring?’ OOH, wait, I’ve got it! You guys know Pablo Picasso’s painting Guernica? Yeah, the one that shows the aftermath of a German Luftwaffe bombing during the Spanish Civil War with all the distorted faces of humans and animals crying out in pain. OK, so imagine if Picasso had also painted one of the German pilots. He’d be pretty happy, right? A job well done, right? He’s flying his Messerschmidt back to base with a little smirk on his face because even though war might be hell, at least he did a good job today. They might even give him a star or somethin-OOH, he should just have a star on him, too, right? Yeah, why not, right? Cool-i-tude. OK, I think that’s enough to get you all started. Come by when you have a logo ready to present. I’ll be working with our web developers in an attempt to create the most confusing checkout process imaginable.” 

1997

"Could I get all the graphic designers in the conference room, please? First of all, welcome to a little company we’re calling GoDaddy.com. What we do here is sell people domain names over the world wide web. What’s that? Why didn’t we choose a name like ‘DomainName.com’ or ‘Domain.com’ or ‘Website.com’ or ‘any other name because it’s 1997 and all of them are available?’ Good question. Well number one, you’re fired. And number two, because none of those names convey what we’re all about here: cool-i-tude. That’s a new word I just made up - actually, Trish, can you register ‘coolitude.com’ for me? Thanks. Now, on to something more important. Let’s talk about a logo. We want something that represents cool-i-tude. Maybe a guy? Think coffeehouses, which, this being 1997, are very popular at the moment. But the people there don’t serve coffee. They serve Java. That’s what they call it because they’re cool. Think of a guy who would know the Spin Doctors. Personally. What’s that? Does he wear sunglasses? Uhh no. He wears shades, daddy-o. Maybe he’s hot, too. Hot from all the cool ideas in his head. What kind of style should we draw him in? Hmmm, good question. Maybe ‘Shitty Keith Haring?’ OOH, wait, I’ve got it! You guys know Pablo Picasso’s painting Guernica? Yeah, the one that shows the aftermath of a German Luftwaffe bombing during the Spanish Civil War with all the distorted faces of humans and animals crying out in pain. OK, so imagine if Picasso had also painted one of the German pilots. He’d be pretty happy, right? A job well done, right? He’s flying his Messerschmidt back to base with a little smirk on his face because even though war might be hell, at least he did a good job today. They might even give him a star or somethin-OOH, he should just have a star on him, too, right? Yeah, why not, right? Cool-i-tude. OK, I think that’s enough to get you all started. Come by when you have a logo ready to present. I’ll be working with our web developers in an attempt to create the most confusing checkout process imaginable.” 

thetalkofshame:

Chris Gethard, of The Chris Gethard Show and author of A Bad Idea I’m About To Do, came by to share a horrendous adventure about a shitting his pants and so, so much more. Plus, a British person reads one of your stories (which you can get to me 2 ways - upload it at talkofshameshow.com/submit or email it to me at thetalkofshameshow@gmail.com)

And here’s a bunch of fun ways you can keep up with the podcast.

Nobody shits their pants like Chris Gethard shits his pants. NOBODY.

cockenblog:

amandalynferri:

Congrats to my luscious cream puff sarahschneider on her Emmy nom. 

My best friend wrote a song about having sex on twin bed and got an Emmy nomination for it.

SARRRRRR!!!!

"It’s a whole thing with Jean" might have been the most I’ve laughed at anything in the past year.