The Phantom of the Office returns! And brings along some old friends. Against their will.
I have it on good authority that this was a highlight of Phantom’s 22,000+ year life
I’m excited to announce the premiere of Elaine and my newest and most tasteless web series, “Precious Plum.” We hope you enjoy it, cringe at it and allow us to do many, many more.
I haven’t worked with Josh and Elaine so closely together since the Dutch West days. There is nothing - NOTHING - more fun than making videos with your best friends.
This is the best. Honestly. It’s the hardest I’ve laughed at an intentionally funny online video in years. And if you like this episode, I’ve got great news: they just keep getting funnier.
“Most scholars assume a date of birth between 6 and 4 BC”
Wait a minute…
The greatest comedian of all time
We imagine what the subjects of super-specific stock photos might be like as characters.
This was one of the most fun days I’ve ever had at work and I’m really happy with how this came out. I hope you all like it, too, so we can keep doing them. Forever.
“I tried alcohol, but I didn’t like it very much.”
“We had no idea that cigarettes were bad for you back then.”
“When duty called, your old man stepped up.”
“I was a virgin when I got married.”
“Marijuana is addictive.”
“When they invaded our world, I fought bravely with my human brothers against the Oordwali Horde.”
“I always did what my father told me to do.”
“I loved taking piano lessons when I was your age!”
“The Oordwali were offering to make any human defectors rich beyond their wildest dreams, but I could never betray my own kind.”
“I was always, always, nice to my little sister.”
“I had a full time job starting when I was 12 years old and I haven’t stopped working since.”
“When the Oordwali crushed the human armies, they spared me because they admired how bravely I had fought against them.”
“I never drove drunk. Not once.”
“I called my mother every single day, even when she was in hiding with the rest of the soldiers of the Human Resistance. Until the Oordwali captured her and used her biomass to sustain Oordwali Larva growing in the ground-sac farms.”
“I did not tell the Oordwali where the Human Resistance was hiding.”
“When the Oordwali Overseer chemically castrated me and ordered me to raise two Oordwali pupae into full grown hatchlings, I doubted that I would enjoy the experience. But the second I took both of you home in your bio-sacs and saw those cute mandibles poking out, I knew that I loved you both more than anything in what remains of the world.”