April 2006
17 posts
Chaser
Roomie Gillian rips hangover cure Chaser a new one. Enjoy.
Yeah, but when you say it out loud...
Part of my job over at CollegeHumor is to monitor and reject/accept submitted T-shirt ideas for BustedTees. Now, this glamorous position has lead me to discover such gems as Never Forget, Party Fowl and Silent But Deadly. However, for every good idea that comes in there are about 2,000 terrible ones. Now a lot of the terrible ones are shirts you would find in Spencer Gifts or a sci-fi...
NARC
I always wondered how kids never got arrested on 4/20 when they are out smoking weed in plain sight. If I were a cop trying to hit a quota I’d just roll through with some zip-tie handcuffs and arrest anyone I could get my hands on. It’d be so easy. Yet the cops never seem to bust up any big 4/20 smoke-outs.
Then I came across this while doing the Hotlinks for CH today and...
H.U.M.A._.
Pete Holmes and I collaborated on this new BustedTee: HUMA. I believe the conversation went something like this.
Streeter: What about a horse shooting a tough basket and it says H.O.R.S._., like he was playing HORSE?
Pete: Hahaha. Wait, what if it said H.U.M.A._.?
Streeter: Damn it, that’s so much better than mine. I guess that’s why you’re on TV.
Pete: True. Also...
Amir Eats Pretzels Like A Freak
It’s true. He got really annoyed with me when I shot this, but later on we made up. It’s amazing what a deep tissue massage and a long, hot bath can do for a friendship.
Amir and his Pretzels on Vimeo
This Just In...
This story filed from the wouldn’t-it-be-great-if-it-were-true department.
Pop singer Aaron Carter, little brother of former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, has signed on to play Jason McElwain in “Hot Like A Pistol,” a biopic about the autistic teenager who wowed the country with his solid shooting in the last minutes of a basketball game. McElwain, or ‘J-Mac’ to his...
More Fun With History
The funny thing about history is that knowledge of it probably won’t convince anyone you’re a genius, but not knowing a simple historical fact like who we fought in the War of 1812 can make you sound like the biggest idiot in the world. That being said, let’s get our learn on.
September 11th, 2001 wasn’t the first time that a New York skyscraper had been hit by an...
I'm Sick Sometimes
Every now and then I think of something that’s totally sick and debased. I thought of this T-Shirt during our weekly BustedTee brainstorm session. Needless to say, it was passed on (PUN!), but I decided to mock it up anyway. I present “World’s Best Grandson”: The BustedTee you’ll never see. UPDATE: Continuing with the sick thoughts such as the one above, it just...
The World Is Full Of Hate
I’ve decided to share some of the hate mail I’ve received over the years. Getting hate mail is one of those things I wasn’t ready for when I first started writing for CH about two years ago. I was shocked that my mere words had angered someone so much that they would wish death upon me. It wasn’t till later that I realized some people have very little to do and get their...
Drunk Dialing
I have a few quotes in this funny article about drunk dialing from the Village Voice. Giving it a second read I sound like an old loser trying to cling to my glory days. Sadly, as any of you who know me are already aware, I didn’t actually have any glory days. Oh well, read it anyway.
Chicken or the Egg
Have you ever had the feeling that a movie was named before the writer thinks of the plot?
Yeah, me too…
I'm On Gawker
I contributed a few small answers/jokes to Gawker’s recurring feature Looking at the Look Book. You can read it HERE
The Book Is Out
Rejoice, rejoice, The CollegeHumor Guide to College is out and in stores and for sale online. If you buy a copy I will gladly drive to your house and personally thank you for doing your part in keeping me employed. I may even shake your hand. What could be better? Won’t you buy it? CollegeHumor Guide to College Commercial on Vimeo
Gotta Love...Spring?
These two pictures were taken by Dave Trawin, CH’s artist in residence, yesterday. Crazy. 12:00 PM
5:00 PM
A Little More Publicity
If you thought ElleGirl was exciting, wait till you read Metro (no, not a magazine devoted to men grooming their pubic hair, but a daily newspaper). We were in the Boston edition today and may be in the New York edition on Thursday. Click for larger version.
Our Time Hath Come
A while back I told you how I was dressed up like The Hamburglar and made to pose for some pictures. Well, on April 11th the world of female teen magazines will never be the same again once we appear in ElleGirl. Life Goal #83: Appear in a teen magazine a la Teen People. Check.
Here’s a sneak peak (click for larger version)
Notice the sly way I manage to cover my entire face with the 8...
Death. Life. Love. Drowning. Study Hall.
And now, children’s poems for Emo kids…
*It’s raining, it’s pouring
and I’ve never been more tragically happy.
Blackness. Silence. Love. Fallout Boy.
*The itsy bitsy spider
lives below my kicthen sink and is the only one who understands me.
*Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
because he did what the king’s men told him to.
*The wheels on the bus
go round and...