Before a tour stop at Miami University Ohio, Pat, Jeff, Jess and I decided to take in the famous Creation Museum in Hebron, Kentucky.  For those of you who don’t know, The Creation Museum is a place devoted to providing proof that A) the Bible is true in every sense of the word, B) that without good Protestant values we’re doomed and C) dinosaurs most certainly lived on earth while people did. 

Needless to say, it was an experience and I learned a number of things.  For instance, did you know that…

- Dinosaurs were on Noah’s ark?  The animatronic Noah explained that he didn’t call them “dinosaurs” but rather “dragons.” All the dragon legends through history were actually stories about dinosaurs! DUH!

- The biblical flood is responsible for everything from the Grand Canyon to why similar animals are spread throughout the world. You see, the force of the flood - which was about 4,000 years ago - broke up Pangea and arranged the continents as we know them today.  How people came to live in Australia, though, is not covered. 

- Any modifications to biblical lore - like when people say “maybe God didn’t mean the earth was literally created in six days, maybe the ‘days’ were really billions of years” - erodes the foundations of Christianity and will lead to a collapse of society.  Basically, unless you take the bible as straight up literal truth, you’re killing Christianity. 

- “Human reason” is to blame for all of this pesky “science” that has turned people away from God.  It was strange to see human reason, the thing that separates us from animals and the thing that has lead to our vaulted position on earth, as a negative quality, but there you go!

- Christianity has never been wrong!*

*Except that one time that Martin Luther broke away from the Catholic Church (which obviously have it all wrong)

- Again, dinosaurs lived with people.

The main argument throughout was that if you “start from a biblical perspective” all of this makes sense and I have to say kudos for how well thought out the explanations for everything were (see, human reason isn’t all bad!).  I mean, every time something new is discovered - like dinosaurs - these people have to go figure out how to fit them into a 4,000 year old story that doesn’t mention them at all.  Pretty clever!

Though I think everything in there bordered on socially irresponsible  - think of the kids checking this stuff out who would otherwise grow up to be scientists or doctors if they learned about science - I have to admit everyone working there was exceedingly nice.  The funniest moment came during the part of the tour that shows you what happens when you turn away from God and embrace your humanity.  It showed a series of videos where teens are doing drugs, looking at Internet porn and playing violent videogames.  We all laughed this off, thinking how ridiculous it was that anyone would assign blame for these societal ills on a lack of religion.  And then all promptly realized that were were walking examples of the kind of people who indulge in those three vices.  Oh well!  If you’re ever in Hebron, Kentucky and looking to feel completely out of your element, check out the Creation Museum.