Talk to me but only tell me what I want to hear = Politician ($$$)

Talk to me but only about things that make me angry = Network News Anchor ($$$$)

Talk to me but only about bullshit = Local News Anchor ($$)

Talk to me but don’t let me see you = Radio DJ ($$)

Talk to me but make it rhyme = Poet ($)

Talk to me but make it rhyme and put it to music = Singer ($$$$)

Talk to me but only about funny things = Comedian ($$)

Talk to me but only about me = Therapist ($$$)

Talk to me but only about why I’m horrible =  Priest ($)

Talk to me but use other people’s words and pretend to be someone else = Actor ($$$$)

Talk to me but then penalize me if I don’t understand what you’re talking about = Professor ($$)

Talk to me but let me pay you to stop = Homeless Person (-$)